The True Diary of That Girl Page 4

Dominic: You’re too pretty to be a slut.

  I have to admit that my heart stopped for a second then and I looked at the phone in anger. I felt hard and cold. I lay there for a second, confused at myself. I’d never been upset at being called a slut before. The word meant nothing to me. Words like that meant nothing. I knew who I was. And no one could tell me anything different.

  Dominic: I’m sorry.

  Dominic: Talk to me.

  Dominic: Please.

  Dominic: Fine, I’ll whack off without your help.

  Me: You’re a jerk.

  Dominic: You wouldn’t talk to me if I wasn’t.

  Me: I have a boyfriend.

  Dominic: You don’t love him.

  Me: I don’t believe in love.

  Dominic: You haven’t dated me as yet :)

  Me: Fine {attached photo of my breasts}

  Dominic: I just came thinking about sucking your nipples.

  Me: Sure.

  Dominic: See {attached photo of his cock with cum covering the tip}

  Me: Nice.

  Dominic: You’re turned on, aren’t you?

  Me: No.

  Dominic: Touch yourself.

  Me: No.

  Dominic: Close your eyes and imagine my fingers are there.

  Me: No.

  Dominic: How does it feel?

  Dominic: Stuck in the moment?

  Dominic: Wishing it was me playing with you instead?

  Dominic: If I was there, I’d have you on all fours and I’d be fucking you from behind.

  Dominic: Did you fall asleep?

  An hour later.

  Dominic: Where did you go?

  Me: Sorry, my boyfriend just came over and fucked me. I don’t need to masturbate over the phone.

  Dominic: You totally just played with yourself thinking of me, didn’t you?

  Dominic: Are you going back for round two?

  Dominic: I am! :)

  Me: I’ll see you on the train.

  Dominic: Don’t wear any panties.

  Me: I won’t.

  Dominic: So tell me, did you really just fuck or where you thinking of me?

  Me: You’ll never know.

  I turned off my phone without waiting for a response from him and closed my eyes. I slipped my fingers back into my panties and imagined Dominic on top of me. I moaned softly as I thought about the photo he’d sent me with his large cock. I could imagine it slowly sliding in and out of me. I groaned as I felt my body tensing up again.

  I froze as I realized what I was doing. I was fantasizing about a guy. I never did that. Fantasies were never about men I knew. They could never be about men I knew. It was okay to have sex with them. That was real. That was physical. That was instinctive. Fantasies got you in trouble.

  I got off of my bed, ran into the bathroom, and took a shower. I didn’t want to think of Dominic. He was absolutely nothing to me. Absolutely nothing.

  I suppose now is the time that you’re wondering, ‘Why is Saskia so messed up?’ Right? You’re wondering, but you don’t really want to know. No one does—not really. You don’t want to know that my father is my uncle! Do you? How fucked up is that, right? My mom slept with her sister’s husband after their wedding day. Though I can’t say I blamed her. He had been her high school boyfriend. He’d cheated on my mom with her sister. She’d dumped his ass when she’d found out. He then married her sister and then he and my mom started sleeping with each other again. Then she got pregnant.

  Everyone found out what had happened. You’d think my dad would be the one who was ostracized, right? Let’s just say that my mom and I found ourselves in Section 8 and on food stamps with no one in the family talking to either of us. Not that I knew or cared. I was a baby.

  I hate telling my story. Every girl who fucks around has daddy issues. I hate it. I don’t want to be that statistic. I don’t want to be the girl who can’t love because her father is her uncle and her mom sleeps all day and smokes weed all night. Who wants to be that statistic? And to be fair, I’m not that girl. I’m not fucked up because of my parents, though I should be. I’m fucked up for another reason entirely. But I don’t want to talk about that. Not now.

  I suppose you’re wondering how I can just sleep around. All these different men, Saskia. Are you judging me? Are you, bitch? I don’t take well to people judging me. Who the fuck cares who I sleep with? So I have a boyfriend, a friend with benefits, a new hook-up, and random sex with strangers. What’s it to you?

  I know I’m being dumb. Trust me. I worry about getting pregnant all the time. And I worry about STDs. I do.

  I know what you’re thinking. How worried can I be if I still have random sex? I ask myself that every time I have a scare. I go to the free clinic every month, though. And I buy condoms. I just don’t always remember to use them.

  I know. You can judge me now. I’m dumb as fuck. I’m irresponsible. I’m a health hazard to myself and others. But some days, I just don’t care.

  Well, now I do. What made me change? Dominic, of course. It had to be Dominic. Life’s funny like that. It always brings you that one person who changes everything. People call that person the game changer. That’s the man or woman who changes everything you think about love and life. That’s the person who makes you want to be a better person. I suppose it had to happen, right? That’s the beauty of life. We all meet that person. And well, for someone like me, it had to be Dominic. It could only have been Dominic. That’s karma for you!

  ***

  Wednesday came and I was excited. It made me nervous being so excited. I mean, I never got excited. Excited means that you care and I don’t care. I never cared. But when Dominic’s text came, I almost squealed.

  Dominic: Catch the 1 train at 5pm from 50th. I’m going to get on at 116th Street. Get into the second cabin. Don’t look for me. I’ll find you.

  Me: Don’t look for you?

  Dominic: You’ll feel me before you see me.

  Me: I see.

  Dominic: Don’t forget, no panties.

  Me: Only if you wear no pants.

  Dominic: You wish.

  Me: It’s only fair.

  Dominic: I’m excited to see you.

  Me: How excited?

  Dominic: I’m harder than stale bread.

  I burst out laughing then. No one had ever made me laugh so much before.

  Dominic: I hope I didn’t scare you off.

  Me: Think before you text.

  Dominic: Are we crazy?

  Me: What do you think?

  Dominic: I think I’m crazy about you.

  Me: You don’t know me.

  Dominic: Do I need to?

  Me: I’ll see you on the train.

  Dominic: The hand you feel on your ass will be mine.

  Me: It better be. I hate taking trains.

  Dominic: Aww, slumming for me?

  Me: Slumming with you, yes.

  Dominic: I wish I could spend this weekend with you.

  Me: I’m going out of town.

  Dominic: So am I.

  Me: Good for you.

  Dominic: My parents wouldn’t approve of you.

  Me: And I care because?

  Dominic: I don’t care either.

  Me: Uh huh.

  Dominic: I’d give up my inheritance for you.

  Me: All $10.

  Dominic: All $100 Million, yes.

  Holy shit! His family was worth a $100 million?

  Dominic: Don’t tell me I scared you off because I’m rich.

  Me: You can’t scare a gold-digger off.

  Dominic: You’re not a gold-digger, and even if you were, I wouldn’t care.

  I turned off my phone then and put it in my handbag. His comments were making me think things I really didn’t want to think. This was about sex. Not cutesy comments and loaded reassurances. It was all about sex, sex, sex. I needed to remind myself of that fact.

  ***

  “Come here often?” he whispered in my ear as his hand massaged my ass thr
ough my skirt.

  I didn’t answer him and I didn’t look at him. I could see an old man staring at us, and I just smiled to myself.

  “Oh, so we’re playing it as strangers?” he whispered, and I felt his tongue inside my ear.

  Once again, I didn’t move, and I could tell that excited him because his breathing was heavy. His hands continued to squeeze my butt, and I pretended that I didn’t feel it.

  We stood like that for a few minutes before the train stopped in the tunnel and everything went black.

  Some people started complaining, but I found myself grinning as his fingers eagerly lifted up my skirt. His pushed his hands between my legs and started gently rubbing me.

  “You’re so wet,” he groaned as he stuck two fingers inside me, and I could feel my body trembling at his touch. “You’re a dirty girl, aren’t you?” He withdrew his fingers and pulled me back towards him.

  I felt his hardness pushed up against my ass, and I reached behind and grabbed him. He groaned out loud, and suddenly, it went quiet in the carriage.

  “Did you hear that?” one lady spoke in the darkness.

  “I think someone is fucking,” a man said crudely.

  Dominic’s fingers crept up under my shirt and started playing with my nipples. I rubbed my ass back into him and felt him undoing his zipper and taking his manhood out.

  “Bend over,” he spoke loudly, and I flushed in the dark. Now everyone knew that two people were definitely having sex.

  “What did you say, Gerry?” an older-sounding lady asked.

  “I didn’t say anything.”

  “Back that ass up,” Dominic said loudly, and I heard someone gasp.

  I shivered as I realized what we were doing, but I bent over and backed my ass into him.

  “Good girl.” He pulled my hips towards him and I felt his cock enter me with such force that I fell forward slightly.

  “Ooh!” I cried out, not bothering to be quiet.

  “Omg, someone is definitely fucking,” the man said again.

  Dominic paused then and started moving slowly. His cock moved in and out of me, teasing every inch of me, and I could feel myself getting wetter and wetter.

  “Go faster!” I gasped.

  “What?” I could hear the grin in his voice.

  “Go faster!” I shouted, and I heard a collective gasp. I didn’t care though because his cock was slamming into me so hard that I couldn’t even think properly. “I’m going to come!” I screamed and moaned as I felt him coming inside of me as I orgasmed.

  The train started moving then, and I felt him withdraw from me. I stood up, pulled my skirt down, and held on to the bar. The lights flickered back on and I could see a look of shock on everyone’s face as they looked around the carriage, trying to figure out who’d been fucking.

  I looked behind me to see if I saw Dominic, but he was no longer there. I was curious as to where he’d gone, but I didn’t want to be obvious. I knew I was going to get off at the next stop and take a taxi home.

  “I hope you had a good fuck,” the old man whispered to me as we got off of the train.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I gave him a puzzled look, and he laughed.

  “I’d believe you if I wasn’t staring at your nipple right now.” His eyes glazed over, and I felt his fingers on me before I could stop him. “If you want seconds, let me know.” He squeezed my right nipple and I froze in shock.

  “Get your hands off of her.”

  Out of nowhere, I saw Dominic hitting the man and glaring at him in anger. The man stumbled and looked shocked that he’d been hit. Dominic grabbed my arm and pulled me with him out of the station.

  “Are you okay?” He looked at me with concerned eyes, and I nodded. “I could kill that man.”

  “It’s okay.” I touched his arm and saw that he was still angry. “Trust me, it’s okay.”

  “When I saw him touch you…” He frowned and shook his head.

  I stared at him for a moment, wondering what I should do. I was touched by his concern, but I was also worried. I didn’t want him to fall for me. I didn’t want to fall for him.

  “Spend the night with me.” He looked into my eyes and ran his hands through his hair. “I know you want to say no, but please, just say yes.”

  “I can’t.” I shook my head.

  “Yes, you can.” He grabbed my hands. “I promise no talking. Just fucking.”

  “Okay. Just fucking,” I agreed reluctantly.

  I knew I was playing with fire. I knew I shouldn’t go back to his place. Nothing good could come from us liking each other.

  “I’ll even let you give me head.” He grinned, and I laughed.

  “Whatever.”

  “Shall we go?” He looked calmer now, and I realized that it felt easy with him. Everything about him made me feel calm and relaxed, and it scared me.

  “No.” I shook my head. “Let’s go to a club I know.”

  “A club?” He frowned.

  “It’s a swingers club.” I stared at him defiantly. He had to know that this wasn’t going to be anything special.

  “Fine.” He nodded slowly. “Let’s go.”

  “Oh.” I frowned. “You want to fuck someone else?” I was angry that he’d agreed so easily.

  “Don’t you?” He raised an eyebrow.

  “Let’s just go to your place.” I walked to the road and flagged down a cab. “But just fucking, no talking.”

  “Fine.” He grinned at me as we got in. “Sixty percent fucking and forty percent talking.”

  “Fine.” I rolled my eyes. “But that’s only because I have to tell you what to do.”

  “Uh huh.” His fingers slipped between my legs and started rubbing my clit. I saw the cab driver’s eyes pop open as he saw what was going on in his back seat. “You can tell me how to make you wet when we get to my place.” He laughed as his fingers easily slid back and forth in my wetness. “I’ll be grateful for the advice.”

  I closed my eyes and groaned. If I’d known how everything was going to go down, I would have jumped out of that cab then and there. If I’d known what was going to happen, I never would have gone home with Dominic that night.

  Chapter

  Five

  Do you believe in foreshadowing? I never used to. I mean, how can events occurring now predict what’s going to happen in my future? It’s not like this is The Twilight Zone or anything. Though I’m starting to wonder if I was wrong before. Maybe that feeling you feel in your bones is real.

  Being with Dominic made me feel alive and happy. That’s something I’d never really felt before and it scared me. I knew it couldn’t last. Happiness never lasts for people like me.

  I know, I know. I need to get a grip. I’m hot. I’m sexy. I’m not wanting for money. I have men chasing me. That stuff doesn’t make you happy. You know that. I know that. Happiness is a state of mind and all that crap. It truly is.

  When I was with Dominic, I felt like a part of me was flying. I was soaring through the air on a jet stream and the world was passing me by in multicolor fusion. I’d never felt that way before. I hadn’t expected to ever feel this way. It was just so easy. Too easy.

  I knew I was in trouble when I realized I wanted to blow off my weekend with Aiden to be with Dominic. I never blow off my weekends with Aiden. It all started with a simple text.

  Dominic: Come away with me this weekend.

  Me: To your parents’ place?

  Dominic: Don’t be crazy.

  Me: Oh, you don’t like taking your hos home?

  Dominic: Do you really want to meet my parents?

  Me: No :)

  Dominic: I’ll blow off my parents and you blow off whatever you’re doing.

  Me: You mean who I’m doing?

  Dominic: I don’t want to think about it.

  Me: I can’t.

  Dominic: You can.

  Me: I don’t want to.

  Dominic: Liar.

  And he was right, of
course. I did want to blow off Aiden. I wasn’t looking forward to the weekend. Normally, I got off on sneaking around and having his colleagues wonder who I was. I was just that bit too sexy to be a real assistant, but they never questioned him, of course. No one questions the man with the money.

  Dominic: You know you’ll be thinking of me when you’re with him.

  Me: Do you really want to discuss this?

  Dominic: What do you think?

  Me: Then drop it.

  Dominic: Drop him and come away with me this weekend.

  Me: You’re crazy. What about your parents?

  Dominic: I can see them anytime. I’d rather be fucking you.

  Me: So romantic.

  Dominic: You don’t want romance.

  Me: You could pretend I do.

  Dominic: Why pretend?

  Me: This is all about sex for you, isn’t it?

  Dominic: What do you think?

  I knew it wasn’t. I knew he liked me. I knew he wanted me to be more than just his friend with benefits. I knew that, and a part of me wanted it as well. A very small part. I mean, I’m not the sort of girl who does commitment. It wasn’t in my DNA.

  Dominic: Fine, don’t drop your weekend plans. Can I call?

  Me: Why?

  Dominic: I’d rather have phone sex than text sex.

  Me: I’d rather have real sex.

  Dominic: I can be over in 30 minutes.

  Me: Just call me.

  Dominic: Scaredy-cat.

  Me: I don’t know if Aiden is coming over tonight or in the am.

  Dominic: I can’t believe he doesn’t know you’re fucking other guys

  Me: He doesn’t like to share.

  Dominic: I don’t want to hear about him. :(

  Me: You brought it up.

  Dominic: I don’t like to share either.

  Me: Call me.

  The phone rang ten seconds later, and I waited for it to ring five times before I answered.

  “Why do you love playing with me, Saskia?” His breathing was heavy, and I knew he was already turned on.

  “Why do you love me playing with you, Dominic?”

  “I hate that you have a boyfriend,” he muttered. “I want you to be mine. All mine.”

  “Well, we all want things we can’t have.”

  “What does he have that I don’t?”

  “A big cock.”

  “Bitch.” He laughed, and I joined him.