Disillusioned Read online

  “Bianca.”

  “My name is not an answer,” I grated out.

  “Just trust me.” His eyes bore into mine as our fingers held on to each other. My body wanted to believe him with everything that I had, but my brain was being smarter this time.

  “That’s not an answer either.”

  “What do I need to do for you to trust me?”

  “Let me go,” I pleaded.

  “That’s not safe.” He shook his head.

  “I don’t feel safe being here with you.”

  “It wasn’t supposed to be like this.” His fingers dug into my skin. “I didn’t count on this, Bianca.”

  “You didn’t answer my questions. Did you know Steve and were you kidnapped?”

  “You know the answers,” he said simply, his eyes never leaving mine.

  “Is David your brother?” I asked softly, not even allowing myself to breathe as I waited for his answer. Please say no, please say no, please say no. Even as I expected the answer, I prayed he wasn’t my ex-boyfriend’s reclusive brother, Mattias.

  “Yes.” He nodded. “Yes, David is my brother.”

  I was distracted then by a sudden movement on the ground below us. A group of people walked toward the hotel down a narrow pathway.

  “Help!” I screamed. “Help me!” I yanked my hand away and tumbled to the floor. “Help!” I screamed again, needing them to hear me, but as they looked around in confusion, a bird flew past them and distracted them, and my faint cry was forgotten.

  “Bianca, stop it!”

  “Leave me alone!” I wanted him to know that I wouldn’t be silenced.

  “Bianca, we had something special. Please, give me the chance to explain.”

  “We had nothing,” I spat. “It means nothing. You ruined it all with your lies.” Tears ran down my face as in shock I made the transition from anger to complete and utter devastation.

  “I’m coming over.” Jakob stood on the top of the balcony railing, balancing like an acrobat before getting ready to jump over, and I felt myself stilling as he stood there.

  “Get down.” My heart was in my throat as he balanced without moving. “You could fall.”

  “So you still care.” He gave me a satisfied smile as he stepped back onto his balcony.

  “Why didn’t you come over here?” I was confused. He could easily have grabbed me if he wanted to. All he had to do was make one small jump. Why hadn’t he?

  “Have you ever seen The Talented Mr. Ripley, Bianca?”

  “The movie with Matt Damon and Jude Law?” I frowned at his randomness. Why was he bringing up movies? That was my thing. “Yes, a long time ago. Why?”

  “I want you to trust me, Bianca. Everything isn’t as it seems.”

  “Yeah, you’re not as you seem, Jakob.” I paused. “Jakob Bradley, right?”

  “My last name is Bradley.” He nodded solemnly. “It’s not a name I carry with pride.”

  “I wonder why.” I glared at him. “I assume you hate it as much as you hate your first name.”

  “Life is complicated, Bianca. Sometimes we have to make decisions we don’t want to make. It’s just what life brings us.”

  “Like when Ripley kills Peter at the end of the movie?”

  “Ripley loved Peter.” Jakob sighed. “But he had to do what he had to do.”

  “Are you telling me you have to kill me?”

  “I would never harm you.”

  “What do you want from me?”

  “I want the same thing you want, Bianca.” His face changed and he looked away. “We’ve both come so far.”

  “Do you want me to cede my father’s patents to Bradley Inc.? Is that what this is about?” I asked bitterly. “Is this what everything has been about? Your family screwed my father over and stole his inventions. Now that he’s passed away, you’re worried that I’ll take your family to court. If I win, you’ll have to give me a huge share in the company and that will give your family a bad name.”

  “This is about more than that, Bianca. There are things you don’t know about those patents. I don’t care, but . . .” His voice trailed off as he stretched his arms up and I could hear the tiredness I felt reflected in his voice. “You haven’t been totally truthful with me either.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I know about the other letters.”

  “What?” I frowned as I stared at him in shock. “What do you mean?”

  “I know the secrets you’re hiding. I know what your father did. I know the truth behind his guilt.”

  “My father felt guilty because my mother died and he didn’t put the pieces together soon enough to get justice for her death.”

  “Do you really think that’s the only reason he was upset, Bianca?” Jakob’s eyes searched mine. “Are you seriously trying to tell me you didn’t know about the affair?”

  “What?” My jaw dropped as I gazed at him, my mind racing. With that one word, everything I thought I knew was called into question. I remembered the label on the box that had held my father’s papers. It had read “divorce papers.” I hadn’t thought much of it when I’d seen it. I figured it was a box from one of Larry’s old clients, but maybe it wasn’t. Maybe it was a box that had held divorce papers for my parents. Maybe they hadn’t been as happy as I’d thought they’d been. Had there really been an affair? My stomach dropped as a surge of pain ran through my veins. I didn’t want to believe that either of my parents could have stepped outside of the marriage.

  All of a sudden Jakob was on my balcony, grabbing my hands and pulling me toward him. “Don’t run away again, Bianca.” His eyes looked dark as he gazed down on me. “It’s not safe here.”

  “But aren’t you the one I should be afraid of?” I whispered up at him as he leaned down to kiss me roughly.

  two

  His lips, though rough, felt like heaven against my lips as my body melted into him, momentarily forgetting how much I hated him. His fingers gripped my hips possessively as he pulled me into him and thrust his hardness into my stomach. My stomach churned as I pulled away from him, my mind battling with my heart.

  “Don’t,” I said urgently as my hands pushed against his chest.

  “Why, Bianca, why?” he growled as he bit down on my lips. “Why did you have to be her, Bianca? Why couldn’t it have been anyone but you?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You’re a good liar, aren’t you?” He stepped back and his arms fell away from me, leaving me feeling bereft. He eyes searched my face and I shivered. “Or did you really not know?”

  “I’m not the liar.” I was taken aback and confused by his words. “Did I really not know what?”

  “You nearly caught me in your trap, but I suppose that was your plan, wasn’t it?”

  “What plan, Jak—Matt . . . ?” I sputtered in confusion, no longer sure what to call him. Jakob felt wrong, but Mattias felt too twisted—and too real.

  “You’re just like your mother—beautiful, angelic, and calculating.” He shook his head, his eyes narrowing as he surveyed me in disgust. “Though I wonder if she was as good an actress as you are.”

  “I’m not an actress.” I stared at him, wondering how he had turned this around on me. I was pretty sure that was the sign of a sociopath. Apparently he was a pretty talented one, because all I could think about was what he had said about my mother. Was she somehow involved in this? As more than an innocent bystander?

  “I wouldn’t expect you to say anything else.”

  “It’s a bit like the pot calling the kettle black, isn’t it?” I was angry as I stared at him. “How convenient for you to place the lies on me.”

  “I’m sorry.” He sighed heavily. “I didn’t want to take this out on you, like this.” He rubbed his temple. “I’ve just thought about this for so long, not this moment, but your mother and what she did to my family.”

  “My mother didn’t do anything to your family, Jakob.”

  “My mother lost the
man she loved because of your mom.” His voice was hollow as he gazed at me. “I know you’re not your mom. I know that I shouldn’t blame you for her sins, but I just don’t know what to think.”

  “Think about what?” I said angrily. “I’m the one that gets to be mad at you, Jakob. You’re the one that lied to me, not the other way around.”

  “I feel guilty.” His voice was hoarse and pained. “I fell for you in a very deep and real way. I want you to trust me, but a part of me wonders if this wasn’t what your mom did as well. Was this how she stole my father away? Did she have the same angelic face and beguiling eyes? Did she trap my father with her casual innocence and aura of sex?”

  “My mother didn’t do anything.” My voice was thin. “This situation is about you and how you lied to me. This is about how you kidnapped me and tricked me.”

  “Just answer me one question, Bianca.” He took a step back and surveyed my face, his eyes keen and aware. I waited for him to ask his question. What could he possibly want to know that would make this any better for him?

  “What?”

  “Do you truly believe your parents were perfect? Do you really think their marriage was ruined only by death?”

  “That’s two questions.” I was affronted. Of course my parents’ marriage had been perfect. I could still remember how devastated my father had been when my mother died. He’d loved her so much. They’d been a perfect couple, the couple that we all aspired to be.

  I was about to answer when all of a sudden a memory hit me: I was sitting on the floor in the corner of a room, playing with two stuffed toys while my parents were whispering furiously. I looked up to the side to see tears streaming down my mother’s face. My father was gripping her arms tightly and muttering something indecipherable. I sat there playing with my toys and turned away from my parents, oblivious of the tension in the air. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the memory.

  What had they been arguing about? I was pretty sure I could remember my mother saying, “I didn’t love him,” but then the memory changed to my father’s voice saying, “I didn’t love her.” My eyes popped open and I stared into Jakob’s astute eyes. I could feel the blood draining from my face as I stood there, my body cold in the warm night. What memory was that, then? I started to shiver as I pictured my mom’s tears and sobs. Had she cheated on my father?

  “I see that you understand now.” His voice was cold.

  “Understand what?” I whispered, not blinking for fear of my tears falling and embarrassing me. I felt numb inside, and only part of that feeling stemmed from the truth I’d found out about Jakob’s being David’s brother and a Bradley.

  “That there’s more to this story than just your innocent mother dying.” Jakob’s voice was emotionless. “There’s more to this story than you think you—”

  “Yes, there’s more to this story. I want to know if your father had my mother killed. I want to know if you’ve been keeping it a secret. I want to know why you had me kidnapped. I want to take you down, Mattias Bradley! I want to take you and your entire family down.”

  “You don’t know . . . ?” He paused as he looked at me, his eyes never leaving mine, and I could see that he was waging a battle in his mind.

  “What don’t I know?”

  “You really don’t know about your mother, do you?” He sighed. “Your parents, like most parents, weren’t perfect, Bianca.”

  “What are you trying to say?” I asked softly. “What are you intimating, Jakob?”

  “I think your mother deliberately seduced my father,” he said softly. “Your mother ruined my mother’s relationship with my father and that ruined my mother’s life.”

  “No.” The blood drained from my face. “My mother wouldn’t do that. She loved my father. They were in love. You must be mistaken.”

  “I don’t think so.” He looked tense. “I’m searching for the truth as well, Bianca. That’s what we both want, right? The truth?”

  I nodded.

  “Bianca,” he said softly, his voice cracking. “Don’t you feel this?” He put his hands up in the air and I could see his fingers trembling slightly.

  “Feel what?”

  “This moment. This is hard for both of us because of our feelings for each other.”

  “I don’t have feelings for you,” I said quickly.

  “Liar,” he whispered, and turned to look at the ocean. I stared at his profile as he stood there, lost in thought.

  “No, I think that’s you, Jakob—or Mattias Bradley.”

  He turned to look back at me. This time his blue eyes were calm, the storm inside his head having passed.

  “I need you to trust me, Bianca. I can’t tell you everything you want to know. Not yet. I need to figure some things out first. And I need to make sure you’re safe.”

  “I’ll be safe if I’m away from you.”

  “I don’t think so.” He sighed. “Look, I knew Steve, and, yes, I asked him to come to the island. That was a part of the plan. He was meant to scare you so that I could protect you and we’d get closer.”

  “Oh.” I stepped back, my hand flying to my mouth as I realized how perfectly Jakob’s plan had worked.

  “He deviated from the plan, Bianca.” Jakob took another step toward me, and I held up my hand for him to stop. I was surprised when he stood still. “I need to figure out why. I need to know who got to him and what his purpose was for turning on me.”

  “So ask him.”

  “He’s gone.” Jakob ran his hand across his head. “I don’t know how or where, but he’s gone. I don’t want you to leave until I know. Please.”

  “If you have any chance of me ever trusting you, you will let me leave.” My voice was as cold as the deepest ocean. “This isn’t the island anymore.” I looked around and took a deep breath. “I don’t need your help and I don’t want it. Let me go. If there is any part of you that regrets kidnapping me, let me go.”

  “We need to figure out the truth, Bianca.”

  “The truth is you kidnapped me. The truth is that you’re a Bradley. That’s all the truth I need from you right now.”

  He shook his head slowly and sighed. “You can leave in the morning. I’ll have someone take you to the airport. A private plane will be waiting to take you back to New York.”

  “You’re going to let me leave?” I was shocked that he’d taken in my words and changed his mind so quickly.

  “What choice do I have?” He clenched his fists. “I was never going to physically hurt you.”

  “Well, your man Steve didn’t seem to get the memo.”

  “I told you, Steve deviated from the plan.” Jakob’s gaze grew darker. “I will deal with him. I never had any plan to hurt you.”

  “Just to kidnap me, then?”

  “I . . .” He took a deep breath. “I wanted some answers from you.”

  “What sort of answers?”

  “I wanted to know about your parents’ marriage.”

  “Why?”

  “I needed to know if your parents were responsible for my father—”

  “For your father what?” I cut him off, wanting everything to make sense. I wanted the pieces of the puzzle to fit together and leave me in peace. I wanted to go back to a normal life, to a time before I’d met Jakob. I didn’t want to remember what it felt like to be with him: to be kissed by him, to be touched by him, to be filled with him. He had become such a part of me in such a short time, and I wasn’t sure how to process all the information I had now. I didn’t want to go down this path any further. I was scared to find out more information that I didn’t want to know. I was scared that my parents’ marriage wasn’t as perfect as I remembered its being. “For your father leaving your mother?”

  “It doesn’t matter.” His eyes narrowed. “I have other things to take care of first.”

  “What other things?”

  “I need to find out who got to Steve and why . . .” His voice trailed off and he looked out to the ocean. “I suggest yo
u leave well enough alone, Bianca.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Stop being Nancy Drew. Take this opportunity and disappear.”

  “You think I’m playing a part?”

  “I don’t even know what you’re doing, Bianca.” His lips thinned. “In other circumstances, I would have been curious. Now, I don’t care.”

  “You don’t care?” Hurt coursed through my veins.

  “You tricked me once, Bianca. I won’t let you trick me again.”

  “How did I trick you? What are you talking about?” My head was running in circles at his words. He was a master manipulator, that was for sure. He even had me questioning myself and my motives. He seemed genuinely confused as to why Steve had become more sinister. I was pretty confident that Jakob was legitimately perplexed as to why Steve had turned on him. Though, I didn’t know if I was smart to trust my instincts. I’d already been wrong once.

  “Let it go, Bianca.” He sighed. “I can’t let my feelings for you stop me from doing what I need to do.”

  “What do you need to do?”

  “As much as you don’t trust me, I don’t know if I can trust you.” He glanced at me for a few seconds again, and his eyes ran up and down my body, unable to hide his lust.

  “Fine, then neither one of us trusts each other.” I glared at him, my heart beating fast as he gazed at my legs.

  “Come with me. Could we spend one more night together?” he asked softly, his tone smooth.

  “What do you mean, come with you? Are you joking?” I shouted. “I’m not going anywhere with you!”

  “This is confusing for me as well.”

  “I don’t care what this is for you, you liar.”

  “Bianca—”

  “Don’t say my name!” I screamed.

  “I wish I understood you.” He seemed sad. “I wish I understood who you really are.”

  “I wish I knew who you really are as well, Jakob.”

  “We’re like the mountain and the treacherous deep blue ocean,” he said wryly.

  “Why’s that?”

  “We’re both powerful in our own ways and we both have hidden depths and dangers.” All of a sudden he looked sad. “And you never see them next to each other.”