Everlasting Sin Read online

  I sprang back then and gasped. “What are you doing?” I questioned him with wide eyes.

  “Teaching you how to kiss.”

  “But you used your tongue.”

  “It’s called a French kiss, Riley.”

  “But we’re not in France,” I mumbled, feeling stupid. I knew my face was burning a deep shade of red, and I could see that he was laughing at me from the sparkle in his eyes.

  “You can’t tell me you’ve never heard of a French kiss before.” There was shock in his eyes and he laughed slightly.

  “You’re a jerk.” I pushed his shoulder hard.

  “No.” He grabbed my hand. “I’m your teacher.” He leaned towards me again and brought my face towards his. “Close your eyes and do what you think is right.”

  “What I think—”

  Hudson’s lips interrupted my speech and I closed my eyes, trying to let my body and not my brain guide me. His lips were soft at first, and I felt myself kissing him back gently, but then his fingers ran through my hair and he pulled my face closer to him. His tongue deftly slipped into my mouth, and I slowly pushed my tongue into his mouth, enjoying the unexpected warm feelings that were coursing through me.

  His tongue met mine, and I allowed my tongue to touch his. It tasted and felt funny, and I pulled away a little bit. Hudson pulled my face back towards him, and I allowed his tongue to enter my mouth again. This time, his tongue was rougher as it explored my mouth as if looking for cavities. My eyes popped open as he ran his hands down my side and rolled me into my back.

  His eyes looked down at me with an unfamiliar emotion, and I felt his body crushing down onto mine. I gazed up at him and ran my hands down his back, not knowing what to do. I shifted on the bed beneath him and suddenly he froze and jumped off of the bed.

  “Okay, great. I think you get the idea.” He walked back to his computer and sat down at his desk without looking at me.

  “Oh, okay.” I sat up, feeling confused and stared at his back. “Is everything okay, Hudson?”

  “Yeah, yeah, it’s fine.” His voice sounded gruff, and I swallowed hard.

  What had happened? Was I such a bad kisser that he was disgusted by me?

  “I’m going to leave now.”

  “Fine,” he mumbled and clicked the keys on his laptop.

  “Thanks,” I whispered, standing at his door.

  I gently rubbed my lips, not really believing what had just happened. Had I really just kissed Hudson? My heart was singing with joy, even though my brain was upset and confused.

  “No worries,” he mumbled and sighed, but then he turned around and smiled. “There’s nothing to be worried about, Riley. You’re a good kisser.” He stared at me for a few moments and then continued. “If you were older, I’d be teaching you even more.”

  “Even more what?” I frowned and stared into his hazel eyes.

  “You’ll figure it out one day.” He shook his head and ran his hand through his silky hair. “Now scoot. I’ve got things to do.”

  I walked out of his room with a huge smile on my face, even though I’d just been dismissed. He had enjoyed kissing me, I was sure of that. Maybe one day, we’d be kissing for real.

  I stopped in the hallway, rested my head against the wall, and closed my eyes. It was now hitting me. I had just kissed Hudson Blake. The boy of my dreams, even though no one else knew that.

  Chapter 3

  Hudson

  Five Years Ago

  “Hudson, let’s go to the Sigma Kappa party tonight.” Luke stood at the door to my dorm with wide, eager eyes.

  “I have a test tomorrow.” I shook my head.

  “Dude, there are going to be lots of hot girls. We might even get laid.” He grinned and walked into the room. “Plus, think of all the times in high school you convinced me to play video games when I had a test the next day.”

  “Dude, that was on you. I didn’t make you do anything.” I grinned back at him and he shook his head.

  “Come on, Hudson.” He sat on my bed and I pushed him off. “Don’t you want to get some?”

  “Not really.” I shook my head and looked down. There was only one girl who set my heart on fire.

  “Come on! The girls are hot. You know sorority girls. They love to give it up easy.”

  “I don’t want a girl who gives it up easy.”

  “Dude, just come for me then. And at least you can tell Eden and Riley that they shouldn’t join sororities when they go to college because you know firsthand how slutty the girls are.”

  “I’m not going to tell my sister and her best friend that sorority girls are slutty.” I gave him a look and he laughed.

  “Dude, it’s going to be epic. What are you doing? You’re ruining the college experience for us.”

  “I’m not,” I lied. I knew I was.

  I hadn’t really been to any parties since we’d started college. Sure, I’d been to a few and had a few hookups here and there, but nothing special. I hadn’t met any girls who’d touched me in any sort of way. But I couldn’t tell Luke why. He’d laugh if he knew I had a crush on Riley.

  She was supposed to be like my little sister, but I couldn’t stop myself from feeling more for her. I think the day I taught her to kiss was the catalyst of my affections. Her response had been so sweet, yet so primal. I’d been ashamed of myself for feeling something for her. Something that was far from innocent.

  “Whatever.” Luke walked to the door in a huff. “Live your life like some monk. See where that gets you.” He stopped at the door and turned towards me before he left. “I thought this was going to be the time of our lives, but frankly, you’re making it really shitty. Some best friend you are.”

  There were a million responses I could have come back with. The one on the tip of my tongue was something along the lines of, “Then get some more friends and stop harassing me.” But I knew I couldn’t say that. For all his bravado, Luke was very sensitive and emotional. So I replied in the only way I knew how. “Fine, I’ll be ready at eight, but I’m not staying out late.”

  “Don’t worry about it, dude.” He grinned in pure joy at me. “I’m sure I’ll be in some back bedroom by nine, so you can leave then.”

  “Uh huh. Are you sure you want to sleep in someone else’s house?”

  “Asshole. I won’t be sleeping. I’ll be doing that slow grind.”

  I laughed as he started moving his arms and hips and covered my eyes. “Please, that is not an image I want to be seeing right now.”

  “I’ll see you later.” He laughed as he left the room, and I jumped up and grabbed my book bag to head to the library.

  I knew I still had to study for the test or I was going to fail. I grabbed my books and my laptop and quickly put them in my bag. I was about to leave the room, but instead I went back and pulled up my pillow.

  There was a photo of Riley at the beach, and I stared at it for a few seconds before touching my finger to my lips and then to the photo. I put the photo down and covered it gently with my pillow before I walked out of the dorm. I sighed as I walked to the library.

  I was starting to feel like a bit of a loser spending my days thinking about Riley. She wasn’t my girlfriend, and for all I knew, she had a boyfriend. There was no way I was going to make a move on her. She was still in high school and lived hours away. And she was my sister’s best friend. And her mom had asked me to look after her. There were way too many reasons for me to not follow my feelings. Because really, I didn’t even understand how I felt.

  ***

  There were five girls running around the room doing shots and pulling off various items of clothing when Luke and I made it to the party at nine. We both grabbed a beer as soon as we walked into the house.

  “This is why I love sorority parties. Such easy access to alcohol.”

  “Sure. That’s why you love them.” I rolled my eyes, chugged my Bud Light, and looked around. I watched a hot redhead pulling off her top and grinned. Maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad
after all.

  “Hey, bad boy.” A cute girl with long blond hair walked up to me and stroked my chest. “What are you doing here?”

  “Excuse me?” I frowned up at her. “What do you mean?’

  “Don’t you belong at some bikers’ meeting or something with those tattoos?”

  “I’m not a biker.” I frowned again and stepped back. “Sorry.”

  “Oh, don’t be sorry. You’re still sexy as hell.” She stepped towards me again, but this time she stumbled and fell against me. “Oops.” She giggled.

  “Lara.” Another girl ran over to us and gave me an apologetic look. “Lara, I think it’s time for us to leave.” The girl smiled at her friend and then at me. She had a sweet smile, and I stared back at her.

  “I’m not going anywhere. We just got here.”

  “Come on, Lara.” The girl tried again. “You’ve had too much to drink.”

  “No, I haven’t.” Lara hiccupped and I laughed.

  “What time did you guys start drinking?” I asked the new girl.

  “Lara’s been drinking since six.” The girl rolled her pretty brown eyes. “I don’t drink.”

  “Clara’s a goody two-shoes.” Lara looked at her friend in disgust.

  I stared at Clara, who was now blushing, and looked her over. She was a pretty girl, with her shoulder-length curly hair, brown eyes, and caramel skin. She looked up at me then and rolled her eyes, and I gave her a sympathetic smile. It was obvious to me that she had been dragged to the party, just like I had been.

  “What can I say? I don’t love parties with lots of drunk girls and guys looking to take advantage of them.” Clara smiled at me, and I nodded in agreement.

  “I agree. It’s not really fun, is it?” I looked around the room and watched as Luke flirted with a girl who appeared to be drunker than Lara, who was now walking away to go hit on another guy.

  “No, it’s not. I’d much rather be home reading a book.”

  “Oh, you like to read?”

  “Yes, I love it. You?”

  “Not really.” I made a face and she laughed.

  “At least you’re honest.”

  “That I am.”

  “So do you have a girlfriend, Mr. Honest?” She looked up at me with a curious light in her brown eyes. I stared at her pretty face and thought for a moment.

  “No.” I shook my head. “I’m single as can be.”

  “So am I.” She smiled back at me and looked down. “Oh, I can’t believe I just said that.”

  “Why?” I laughed and smiled down at her.

  “Because I’m not usually this forward.”

  “Then I’m glad you were tonight.”

  “Yeah?” She took a step towards me and beamed at me. “Then I’m glad I was as well.”

  “Wanna get out of here?”

  “Sure. Where do you want to go?”

  “I was thinking we could go sit by the beach? Watch the stars and talk?”

  “Oh.” She made a face. “The wind isn’t good for my hair.”

  “Oh.” I was disappointed in her answer. I knew Riley would have jumped at the opportunity to go and stare at the stars.

  “But maybe we can go and get milkshakes at Steak ‘n Shake?” she suggested with a sweet smile, and I nodded.

  “Sounds good.”

  We walked out of the party together, and while I was happy to be leaving the party and getting to know her better, a part of me felt sad. A part of me felt like I was giving up something I’d never really had.

  ***

  “So, tell me all about yourself, Hudson Blake.” She leaned forward and sipped on her chocolate milkshake.

  “Want do you want to know?” I ate some fries and sat back. “I’m nineteen, a sophomore. I love video games. I’ve had the same best friend my whole life. I’ve got two tattoos. I like wrestling and boxing. I’m single.” I smiled wide at her and she laughed.

  “Wow, that tells me a lot, but not really.” She grinned.

  “Why don’t you tell me about you?” I sipped some of my shake and waited for her to talk.

  “I’m nineteen as well and a sophomore. I want to be a doctor when I grow older to help find a cure for cancer. I also want to be a doctor because they make a lot of money and I want to buy my mom a house. I’m mixed as well.”

  “Mixed?” I laughed. “Mixed up in the head?”

  “No,” she giggled and stole some French fries off my plate. “My mom is black and Native American, and my dad is white.”

  “Are your parents still married?”

  “No.” She grinned. “My dad remarried and I have two small brothers with the blondest hair and bluest eyes. It’s really funny when we all go out. People stare at me and wonder what I’m doing with them.”

  “I suppose they think you’re the nanny.”

  She burst out laughing. “Exactly! That’s not an issue, is it?”

  “What, that you’re a nanny?” I raised an eyebrow at her, and she leaned forward and hit me in the shoulder.

  “No, that I’m mixed.”

  “Doesn’t matter to me if it doesn’t matter to you that I’m all English.”

  “I love English men.”

  “Well, I should clarify.” I laughed. “I’m not actually English, but I think my ancestors are.”

  “That’s pretty cool.”

  “Yeah, I can even put on an accent.” I cleared my throat. “G’day, guv’nor, my name’s Hudson.” I spoke in my best Cockney voice, and Clara burst out laughing.

  “That was absolutely awful,” she said between sobs. “Please never do that again.”

  “Wot do ya mean, mate? I’m from London, England,” I continued and grinned as I watched Clara laughing. There were tears coming out of her eyes and she was doubled over.

  “I think ‘mate’ is Australian,” she giggled, and I reached over and wiped a tear off her cheek. She paused then and stared at me, her face turning a deep red.

  “I hope you don’t mind me touching you.”

  “No, that was very nice of you.”

  “We sound so formal.” I laughed. “If Luke were here, he’d jump up and moon us or something to get the party started.”

  “Luke is your friend, right?”

  “Yeah, he’s my best friend. He’s the one who dragged me to the party.”

  “Yeah, Lara is my best friend and the one who made me go as well.” She sighed. “We should hook them up.”

  “I don’t think you want your best friend to date Luke.” I shook my head. “I love him, but he’s not anyone I would recommend as a boyfriend right now.”

  “Oh yeah?” She laughed. “Then he’d definitely be perfect for Lara.”

  “Oh, Clara. You’re so bad. Who knew?”

  “Not me.” She shook her head and laughed. “Do you want to get out of here and do something?”

  “Something like what?”

  “Maybe we can go and drink.”

  “Drink?” I paused, surprised at her words.

  “Yeah, maybe we can grab some beers and smoke pot.”

  “Oh. I didn’t know you—”

  “Oh, I don’t at parties, but otherwise, why not?” She jumped up, grabbed my hand, and pulled me up. “Let’s go.”

  “Okay.” I got out of the booth slowly, suddenly unsure how I felt about continuing the night with her.

  Her comment had taken me aback. I’d thought we were on the same wavelength about drugs and alcohol, but apparently I’d been wrong. I was thinking about a way to tell her I had to go home when my phone started ringing.

  “Hello?” I answered hesitantly, as the number was unknown.

  “Hudson, where are you?” Eden’s voice was loud, and I could hear loud music in the background.

  “I’m just leaving Steak ‘n Shake. Why? What’s wrong? Is Riley okay?”

  “Huh?” Eden sounded confused. “I’m at home. We’re having a party.” She giggled. “Riley’s in the closet right now making out with Steve Anders.”

  “Wh
at?” I could tell that my voice sounded agitated, but I couldn’t help it.

  “Seven Minutes in Heaven.” She giggled again, and I took a deep breath. “That’s what we’re playing. I’m hoping I’ll get to go in with Zack Spinelli. He is so hot.”

  “What do you want, Eden?”

  “Do you know where Mom and Dad leave the keys to the liquor cabinet? I wanted to make screwdrivers for everyone.”

  “Eden, are you joking?” My voice was loud, and I saw Clara give me an anxious look.

  “Don’t get all high and mighty on me, Hudson Blake. I know you and Luke drank plenty of whiskey in your time.”

  “That was different.”

  “Why? Because you’re guys?”

  “No.” I sighed. “Because you are girls and you have guys over. Alcohol makes people act funny. You don’t want anyone getting pregnant during those seven minutes in heaven.”

  “Hudson, gross!” Eden shouted, and I heard someone whispering something to her.

  “Who’s that?”

  “Riley says hi,” she continued. “Riley, get on the phone with my stupid brother and tell him to tell you where the key is.”

  “Hello.” Riley’s voice was soft and I smiled involuntarily.

  “Hey, egghead.” I laughed into the phone and heard her groan.

  “What’s up, asshole?” she muttered, and I closed my eyes for a second to picture her face. I knew exactly what face she’d be making right now.

  “I’m not telling you how to get into the liquor cabinet,” I continued and then realized that Clara was just standing there, looking at me uncomfortably. “Hey, let me call you guys back in a few minutes, okay?”

  “No need,” Riley giggled, and I frowned. “Just a second, Hudson,” she said into the phone, and then I heard her laughing hysterically. “Stop it, Steve! You’re going to make me drop the phone!”

  I frowned even more as I heard her laughing, and I felt a dark emotion run through me. I gripped the phone tightly as I listened to Riley flirting.

  “Riley, I have to go,” I spoke into the phone with a stern voice.

  “Okay. Bye.” She hung up then, and I stood there, feeling like someone had just slammed a door hard in my face.